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Subject: When would an angel stop actively loving
Posted by Wendy
Sunday, August 12, 2007 at 07:21:57
Message:
When would an angel stop actively loving. I know that it is never possible to stop loving someone if you truely love them but when is it time to actively stop loving someone.My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for almost 10 months now. He tells me he loves me and I tell him I love him. I do love him although I wonder if he really loves me. . He did live with me but he had to move out because my Mom did not like him and I am living in her reantal house. I pay rent to her, but she says I am not aloud to sublease.He moved to his Moms house. Now he is waiting for me to move to another place and then move back in with me. I am not sure if I want to do this because I do not feel that he really loves me or is just saying he does because he wants someone to take care of him. When we lived together before he often stayed on the couch a lot because he was up late watching movies. I would go into the living room and ask him to come to bed with me and he refused. Sometimes after he fell asleep I would wake him up and ask him to come in the room with me. He still refused. Now that he lives with his Mom. He will fall asleep with me much more. .He says that he can not sleep with me at times because he is uncomfortable and I move around too much.If we do sleep together I have my arm around him and he has moved it off him at times. Now if sleeping was the only problem that would be maybe ok but at times he doesn’t even want to sit by me or put his arms around me. It seems like I have to be the one to initiate it. He’s just not romantic enough for me. When I ask him why he doesn’t want to sit by me at times he says he is claustrophobic and at other times blames it on past relationships. I pay all the bills because he quit his job after he met me and has not since got one back. I pay for everything for us. What is my problem. Am I just happy with just being with him, because he does talk very sweet to me. He tells me he loves me all the time. He calls me baby and gives me kisses at times. He does make me dinner a lot and is very friendly. What should I do. Am I being used. If I am being used how could anyone be with anyone and just want them to take care of them. It would seem that if he was not in love with me and he had to act like he was in love with me that would be a very uncomfortable thing to do. I guess I’m just trying to find out if he is using me how he can do that. How can anyone do that to anyone or themselves? I love him with all my heart but see myself just falling in a rut if I stay with him. His love for animals and nature is so great and he is very smart on the upside.
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 | RE: When would an angel stop actively loving
Posted by coralbea
Monday, August 13, 2007 at 03:33:46
Reply:
Oh Wendy he is smart all right. He has the best of both worlds doesn't he? You pay for everything so why should he get work? You do all the initiating so why should he? Ok This is only my opinion so take what you need and throw the rest away.
Well you say you love him and you possibly do. Ask your self what it is about him that you love. Make a list if you need to!
A true partnership is give and take equally, this is balance and is equal energy exchange, all involved are enhanced and happy and always moving forward. When one gives and the other takes it is not long before the energy runs low. the giver becomes exhausted and depleted and the taker takes all that stolen energy and moves on to the next target, leaving the giver so low that she falls into the depression and anxiety trap, inturn losing that part of her that was love, strong and independant. Sit down in a quiet space and look at your life with him now. Look at all the good things and all the bad things. Feel all the emotions that come from the relationship, ask your self do you feel good at the end of the day when you have been together? do you feel good at the end of the day when you are apart? How often does that happen. Then Imagine all of that and multiply that by 20. How do you feel then? This is what you would be living every day. How would you feel about his phobias, or past relationships hurts as excuses, or being uncomfortable, or you moving too much in bed so he can't sleep, staying on the couch all day while you go out to work to pay the electricity bill because he was up all night watching tv. Not showing you the affection that you not only need but deserve. If you are happy with what you see then go ahead. If not then
"SEE YA" This person does not want a life companion to love and share with. This person wants to be a little boy being looked after by his mummy and take no responsibility for his or anyone elses happiness and well being.
You my sweet should want much much better for yourself!! you deserve to be loved and respected not treated like a navvy.
Ask yourself another question Wendy. How much do you love you and and would you treat you like he is??? Will you reach your full potential with this person? Does he enhance your life? Does he bring you joy and happiness? Does he walk away leaving you feeling better about yourself than you did before?
I'll bet your answer is no. That my sweet princess is a word that should be said loudly and often to people like him. NO! NO! NO!
Choose only what is for your highest and best and you can't go wrong
May you alway walk in harmony with Your self
xxxx
Helen
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| RE: When would an angel stop actively loving
Posted by mary
Monday, August 13, 2007 at 16:49:10
Reply:
Dear Wendy-
What Helen wrote above is extremely good advice. My comment on this guy is that like a leopard, he can not change his spots. What you are getting in this case is what he chooses to give you which seems to be next to nothing. It is obvious that you are searching for more in your life and you deserve it. Sometimes it really takes listening to your heart -- and you have to listen hard to hear it because it speaks to you in a whisper. But it will only speak what is truest and best for you. Listen hard, my dear, it will lead you to what is best for you. Don't settle when you can reach and acheive so much for yourself.
Blessings,
Mary
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