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Subject: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by Mary
Friday, April 27, 2007 at 09:56:04
Message:
Seems at times it is either feast or famine....
Had a job interview the other day-- went great but will not know until Monday afternoon.If offered, I will start immediately on Tuesday.
Got a call yesterday for a job interview on Wednesday which could be an excellent opportunity to help older kids.
Tomorrow I have to take a test which will determine if I am "very highly qualified" to teach, when I've been teaching for over 15 years ( I have to take this because I took a year off for depression issues)-- the test is at 7:30 am and two hours away from where I live.
It is school vacation week which means all 3 of my kids have had friends over ( my house has a revolving door on it this week) I love the laughter and frolicking but am missing the quiet moments.
It just seems that the wintertime was such a non movement time-- nothing happened and now BAM! all in one week EVerything is happening at once...
I know I won't be given any more than I can handle but right now I'm stressing out
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 | RE: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by Elizabeth
Saturday, April 28, 2007 at 06:36:23
Reply:
Dear Mary,
Had the same feeling this week as well.
I have been told that it all is happening as it will assist meand to think of it as Character Building.
Your home sounds so much like mine. Exept I have a Bengal cat and the neighbours kids still have not learnt that my revolving door has to be shut after them as the cat is a permanent indoor cat.
That is also why I put the mud pit in the front yard for the kids to play in the dirt. They are out the front.
I too have just applied for a postion for a sort of job. Mine comes with no pay.
I cant stand interviews. 'soory but you are over qualified' I hear al the time. And I do not have even one certificate etc for senior first aide.
Sounds like this test they are giving you is a stress test rather than a standard written test.
They would know that to be there at 7.30am for the test would mean you have to leave home by at least 5.30 in the morning and be up at least by 4.30 to get ready.
They are putting you under stress and that is the test. Not the actual written one you are turning up to.
And to start on Tuesday after taking the test that is more stress related to put the clamps on you again.
Is this an indication that this job, they are going to be throwing everything at you from all corners for the rest of your employment?
If this other job is more interesting for you, is it one door closing and then anther one opening?
Areyou in a situation financially that you cannot say to them,' i passed the test, but I am informing you that I will not be starting till Thursday. I have arrangements to establish, as you know I have a family and you are putting unrealistic expectations on me.
After all the stress yu have had time off for, and you had me do the test to see if I was alright after the time off work for stress, and whilst I was off work, I have learnt that I am the decision maker in my life and would appreciate you recognise that I am in control of my stress levels now and I am being realistic in my decision to start Thursday.
this will give you time to do the second interview, and make a choice.
Notice the difference in the interviews, the body language etc.
Which one do you really feel comfortable with what you are hearing and seeing.
I have been quiet on the site recently as I have had to rush off and be placed in hiding with my kids due to death threats. Death threats of bloodhsed throught the homw here.
Tonight is the first time we have been able to sleep in our own home for nearly two weeks.
I start my double degree in approx three weeks, full time uni study.
Our little group starts back on Tuesday. And we run programmes, rehearsals etc every Tuesday and Friday. Approx 15 children both days.
Then I am doing a newsletter etc for another group. setting up a website for them, promotions, etc.
then there is another group that needs the promotion team leader, producer etc.
I applied sort of tonight. On the condition that I can work from home and only attend meetings on crtain days etc.
The time line for this symposium is five weeks.
And then there is the Secretary position I have just been allocated for our group as well.
I cant give advice much about interviews, jobs etc.
And I am not bragging or anything.
I just want you to know that you are not alone.
And also I just remembered the coping of the prints I have.
I wasnt even homeectfor occssionally.
There is one thing of advice i can share with you though.....
Never wash you super woman/super Mum costume etc on Saturdays.
then it is ready by Sunday and for the week ahead.
And maybe use a different fabric softener for washing it too....
It makes the knocks in life bounce back off a bit more gently.
Nobody said we have to be sane to function in this world.
Respect
Elizabeth
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| RE: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by mary
Saturday, April 28, 2007 at 10:00:47
Reply:
just got home after taking the test--- have to tell you guys, Metatron rocks!!!! Last night, I asked him to help organize my day so that I would get up in time, get on the right highway with plenty of time to get to the testing site (2 hours away), and have enough time to eat a good breakfast.... I arrived 1 1/2 hours early, ate breakfast, and called my friend who lives out that way and had a nice chat with her.
The test--- well, I can only say that half that stuff I have never seen taught in grades kindergarten to 8th grade. most of it was geared to the upper grades... I just kept saying prayers to my angels though. I'll know if I passed in 4 weeks.
Elizabeth, thanks for your kind words-- sometimes it feels like my cape is a bit tattered, but my kids like frayed edges. ha ha
I felt really good at last weeks interview,(the one I find out about on Monday) felt like coming home. This other interview that I have on the 3rd could also be good. You said the same thing my friend that I chatted with this morning said, that I should see how it goes and watch the body language etc... time will tell.
Not as stressed now, thinking of taking a nap. Take care all :)
Blessings
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| RE: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by Mary
Saturday, April 28, 2007 at 10:04:23
Reply:
Elizabeth--
Sorry, forgot the most important thing---
Glad you and your family are OKAY!
Why were there death threats-- if you don't mind me asking?
Mary
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| RE: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by Elizabeth
Saturday, April 28, 2007 at 18:34:35
Reply:
Dear Mary,
I do not mind you asking. I just wrote a lot and then deleted it all.
I will just say this.
We are two women working together promoting sharing etc reconciled.
One black women, one white women.
It is not meant to be happening, we should not be working together, and actually getting somewhere.
Anyne who promotes unity, reconciled, openess, sharing there is always at least one person who cannot stand the progress.
There is a women we tried to work with and help.
but she likes playing the victim.
My business partner is the main focus for her. We are the target as the way she can hurt my business partner is to hurt the ones she loves.
I am the white part of the friendship.
And I have never had to face racism before. Directed at me.
I do not know how to street fight. or fight at all.
But i will protect my children, animals and the community.
The woman that is stalking and threatening us, uses people on drugs to do her dirty work, whilst they are high on ice or wht ever.
She sat in a car, stared and the driver of the car is the one that speaks for her. The threats.
The phone calls are also her identifying me and then the others say the threats.
But it is coming from her.
And her brother lives up the top of the street and they visit and watch my home. They can see everytime I leave and when i come home.
And all my visitors.
The kids cannot come to my home anymore, the 15 in our group. They used to come every Tuesday and Friday.
Oh well, I get to use my new kitchen they put in a week ago, i have to learn how to use something with all these buttons on it.
We are having a baking day. And i am putting things away in the cupboards at last.
And we have our bags packed ready for the next time we are threatened.
But I am getting tired of it all.
But we will not give up.
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| RE: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by Mary
Saturday, April 28, 2007 at 20:29:16
Reply:
Dear Elizabeth-
I truly feel for your situation-- I have not had to face anything of that scope in my lifetime, my thoughts and prayers are out there with you and your family.
Blessings,
Mary
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| RE: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by Elizabeth
Saturday, April 28, 2007 at 23:03:22
Reply:
Dear Mary,
I have been going through a room I wouldnt go into as I have put my whole life into this room. Open the door and just throw stuff in there. Today I am cleaning it.
In this room I found a print out of a poem I had written in 2002. It is under the name of Rosemary Levich which was my writting name as I was in hiding.
I would like to share it with you and others.
You Will never amount to anything.
By Rosemary Levich
I have Been told I will never amount to anything.
That I will have no impact on this world.
They underestimated me.
I am a speck of dust rolling across the earth
As I pass over things, i pick them up and add to myself
Over time I get bigger and bigger
Al of a sudden I am the size of a ball,
then a boulder
Soon I am getting so big that you can't help but notice me.
And still I am adding to myself
Forever rolling
Soon I am rolling with such force that you can't stop me
I am not out of control
I have a path I am following
Then I am so big that I have reached my capacity and crashing to a stop
I explode and cover the earth
I am heard, I am seen and I am understood.
I have made a change and a difference in this world that can never go back to the way it was.
I have made a difference. i have changed the world.
I have a dream
Maybe not in my life time.
But at least I started it and it cant stop now,
I have been told I will not amount to anything....
I have proven to myself that....
I breathe so therefore I am....
I am so therefore I do.....
I do so therefore I succeed....
I make a difference just by being.
This poem I wrote when I was angry, changing, evolving. I was angry that a psychic told me that i would never be anything in this world.
I should never have gone to a dark witch. I realise now.
I decided that with what everybody in my life had/has said to me about being nothing special in this world that I had a ath to prove myself to myself.
I look back now at this poem with the knowledge and feelings and learning I have gone through since I wrote it.
Things I didnt know anything about. The change, the Shift everything.
I want you all to know that we sometimes feel as though we cant make a difference, when we see such murder, hate, killings, disasters etc in this world.
We can see where it is heading towards etc.
We think we are not heard, we are not listening, we are not feeling, we are not helping or doing things that make a difference.
But we are.
Because we see, hear, feel, love, laugh and share.
And most of all, we cry.
And whilst we are doing all these things, we are breathing.
And our breathes and spirits join when we do these things.
We are one. /and we are all collecting and joining.
I have to get back to cleaning. I have been putting it off for too many years.
There arre changes in my life style that need to be done NOW.
And I am now going to teach my children.
Mary we will be ok. Thank you for the prayers and thoughts.
I feel them with every heart beat I feel.
We are all one.
Also just one thing sorry. I just thought of it.
Someone told me just recently, and I am stuck on the words she said.
I am one of the board of twelve.
What is the board of twelve?
Love and Light
Elizabeth
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| RE: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by Mary
Sunday, April 29, 2007 at 17:57:17
Reply:
Dear Elizabeth-
your poem moved me greatly. I have tears in my eyes as I write this.
Sometimes the biggest difference we make in the world or in the lives of others is with just one word or gesture or smile or even just one thought.
There is a child's thin book that speaks of how just one person can create difference that impacts many others-- I always have loved this book, "The King's Fountain" by an author whose last name is Alexander (Ithink he has a 3 names, something lloyd alexander)
I love your last verse especially
--------------------------
I have never heard of the board of twelve before.
Have you researched it on the net?
Blessings,
Mary
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| RE: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by Elizabeth
Monday, April 30, 2007 at 04:51:19
Reply:
Thank you Mary.
I will try and find the book on the internet.'
I havent been able to find anything spiritual about the board of twelve.
Part of the conversation went like this.
" you are one of the board of 12 and you have to answer to the council why you decided to study....you have to answer to them spiritually.
I felt funny inside when it was said and wondered what i had done wrong.
How had i offended them. Or broken rules.
Had I said too much?
Had I wanted to study for the wrong reasons.
I am not studying it anymore.
I can honestly say i did not know it was wrong.
a no go zone.
I am trying to learn. And I have no one to ask questions of.
I have come a certain stage and need a new teacher appaarently.
As I said i have a big mouth.
I will learn not to pick up someone elses dust as I roll along the path.
Maybe i am trying to learn to hard. I am just so hungry.
Respect
Elizabeth
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| RE: feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted by Starseed
Monday, April 30, 2007 at 06:49:45
Reply:
Hello Elizabeth
Hope this bit helps...the council...
The council is made up of those who help oversee man's spiritual evolution. They make decisions for your highest good to help you awaken, and fullfill your contract that you have created for you earth experience, etc. Your guides can often approach the council on your behalf to help you go through something easier. But, it is the council only whom can decide...and it is all based on your contract, your experiences here, and how you choose to respond to them....ie did you learn your lesson that you set out for yourself (kamra)?
So, when the council sences that someone here on earth school 101 has gone up or changed in vibration, they send someone (a "receiver guide")down to make observations of him/her. Then, they go back and report to the council. Once the "receiver guide," who is basically like a reporter, goes back to tell the council what the earth person's energy / vibrations are doing (this would be you here) etc., the council then decides what best course of action to take to help the person along in their journey. I spoke of seeing a / my "receiver guide" on another thread called, "MY 1,000 Year Old Visitor:" where, my receiver guide came and made some observations and noticed all my new energies, and he went back to the council to tell / report to them...and they sent me a new guide...a male one, and my teacher...a woman.
Your "board of 12" might have something to do with your life purpose here...maybe connected to your workings with children / people / the aboriginal tribes, etc. Or it might be connected to you being some kind of ambasador from your home starsystem...that you might simply be here to make observations of how humanity is now, after tens of thousands of years, able to break free of the matrix, wake up, and begin to transcend all that had held us back...overcome great hardship and odds...as MANY starsystems have people here now. But, really only YOU can find / know the answers to your questions.
May you find ALL the answers you are looking for..."within."
Starseed
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