 |
 |
Subject: I asked him to dinner
Posted by Elizabeth
Sunday, April 15, 2007 at 00:31:04
Message:
I would like to share with you all a hurdle I hope i have over come.
I sent this man a dinner invitation. I suply the meal of Lambshank and vegetable soup, frech bread or garlic bread and he is to supply the DVD of his choice.
I took the step of actually inviting a man to my house.
I do not know if he will accept. But after reading stuff and doing the cards, how do I know unless i ask. I have to stop being scared.
Not all men are like my ex husband i keep saying but i have not been living it.
What i stop feeling at a certain point in a relationship is my walls coming up and stopping all feeling.
The music stops.
I know now that it is me that stops the music.
It is the only thing I had to protect myself. Control over the music inside.
If I do not hear from him a reply accepting or not, then I will move on and learn from it that it is not rejection. It just wasnt meant to be and to learn from my past experiences with him so I do not make the same mistakes.
I will not push them away if i get scared of what I am feeling for him.
But I will not and can not go out with a drinker. Ocaasional drink is ok but not a drunk who abuses.
This man has had a life change as he nearly died form a bashing he had received.
We were seeing each other and I stopped it because of the alcohol.
But when he nearly died in my arms and semi conciuos he knew it was me and telling me again how much he really loves me, but has no memory of saying it, i have had a lot of thinking to do sonce then.
I was told i was being a hypocrte and to not feel for him as he deserved it beccause he threateened us with words.
But i have beenthinking after reading a lot.
I was in shock and refusing to acknowledge my feelings for him. I pretended I didnt care anymore after he got better.
Whilst he was in hospital I ws beside myself. Crying nearl all the time.
then when he got out and i listened to other people I tried to be angry again with him. bck to drinking I said, I was told that he would not change.
then I was told he had.
I had kept my feelings closed to others.
so anyhow, aftr much soul searching etc, I have asked him to my place for dinner.
He is the first and only man who has been in my house for coffee and conversation.
there has been nobody before him and nobody after him.
I have had thoughts of other people but i pushed them away.
That is why the man around here hass been saying things about me and I gave him the baby oil etc and sent him away with them.
We will see what happens.
I leave it to the Angels now as they said. If it happens then good, if it doesnt thenit wasnt meant to be and learn from it.
It took me one hour to make the invitation. then 4 hours to get off my bum and give it to his friend to give it to him.
Say prayers please as i am not that he accepts but that I have learnt a lesson in love.
Love everybody.
I am tring to forgive him and know that it was the act i didnt like, not the person.
And hopefull he will forgive me and let go of the act as well.
And no matter how many jokes they make, sitting here about my choice of the man, he is my choice and i find him beautiful. They have their choice of man. What i see as beautiful is not wrong just because they cant see the beautiful that i see.
I am nervous. But not fearful.
|
 | RE: I asked him to dinner
Posted by Mary
Sunday, April 15, 2007 at 06:21:05
Reply:
Many blessings to you.
|
| RE: I asked him to dinner
Posted by Starseed
Sunday, April 15, 2007 at 07:33:52
Reply:
It is often difficult to remember at certain times that we are not of the body...but of spirit. What we do here, often reflects our own experiences growing up and living on earth school 101. When we are up in the heavens, our true self emerges, as we shed all of the emotional and other baggage that we picked up while here.
It takes a kind and gentle soul with a truly loving heart to look past the surface and see all the good in others. However, often times, it is really is not meant to be, so we move forward, wiser from the lesson / experience in life.
This was just given to me yeserday by my angels and guides...I am to say it several times a day: "I AM in harmony, I AM in peace, and I live in joy."
You will find only loving support here from your friend...but, your answers must come from within.
May all your lessons in this life be joyful-
As Above
So Below
|
| RE: I asked him to dinner
Posted by Elizabeth
Monday, April 30, 2007 at 05:28:46
Reply:
Ah well.
Nothing. Not a phone call, no turn up, no polite no thank you.
It is not meant to be.
I am not unhappy as I did learn something.
I learnt courage to be able to ask something i have not asked for many many years. As i was too scared to.
I do not see it as rejection. i see it as a door closed and there has been a lesson learnt.
I still believe that you can have love here.
And yes i understand that you cannot merge with someone here. always the optimistic i am...well maybe you can merge with someone here.
We are all changing are we not.
To be able to take our outer sheild off and step out...
But to have someone to watch a movie with.
To have someone share a meal with you.
to have someone to share conversation with.
A companion.
A friend.
Oh well time to dream. I have been dissapearing again and feel as though i am gone when i am asleep.
it is like when i woke up. there is a nothing there for night time.When i sleep there is apon waking a send\se of the nothing again.
Unless i eat banana's.
I have nightmares if i eat a banana.
Snakes, lots of snakes and the skins f the ones i shoot or kill with my hands by whipping them to break their necks, hanging on the barb wire fence with lots and lots of mine shafts around.
I always fall in one.
I am a child always when in this dream.
/same place, same scenes, same family, same everything.
I leave bananas alone now.
Well actualy i crave them. but i dont eat them often.
Respect
Elizabeth
|
| RE: I asked him to dinner
Posted by KellyB
Wednesday, June 27, 2007 at 10:53:28
Reply:
Pizza gives me nightmares, funny how certain foods can make you dream weird stuff. Nothing wrong with being single, better to be single and happy then married and miserable.
|
| RE: I asked him to dinner
Posted by Elizabeth
Sunday, July 01, 2007 at 01:54:27
Reply:
Thank you Kelly.
He atually turned up on my doorstep accidently.
My house and the house nextdoor where he was visiting, look the same. He came to my doorway accidently and we are together now.
We are working through it.
He likes when I do the Angel cards for him and we talk about spiritual things.
He has had experiences and we have talked about our experiences.
We will see how it goes.
But if it doesnt work, then i am happy living alone and i will learn from it all.
Love and Light
Elizabeth
|
|
|
|
